I'm finding writing all this stuff down from 10 years ago quite emotional.
Looking at myself now I hardly recognise this person.
I'm well, in remission and am very functional. Yes I'm like the tin man in the mornings. I have joint and fibromyalgia pain issues. I feel tired easily but I can run my own business. I can write. I don't do housework. I finally gave in a few months ago and I have a cleaner and it was one of the best things I have done. Why did I keep on trying to run myself into the ground? What was I trying to prove and to whom???!
Sometimes us Lupies are our own worst enemies.
Giving in is OK. Some things are not worth the battle. I choose how I use my energy each day. There's a great theory called the Spoon theory. I love it and it helps explain our disease to others. I'm sure a lot of you have heard of it too. It's genius :-)
Not long after I started work as a Child & Family Health Nurse in Melbourne I contracted a virus. It was a particularly nasty virus called Parvo Virus B19 aka Slapped cheek syndrome. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was ill for 6 months and at times felt I hadn't the strength to do anything. Getting out of bed was a big ask never mind work. But I was only on a permanent residents visa so no work...no money. I had joint pain, temperatures of 38-38.5C. I had a red face especially my cheeks. I felt like I had flu permanently.
The rheumatologist I was referred to did a full blood screen. It was viral. It was Parvovirus B19 and I'd most probably contracted it from a child in my job as a Child & Family Health Nurse. He also said that I'd had Epstein Barr (glandular fever) in my past. That was something I hadn't known. He told me that 99% I didn't have Lupus. Famous last words.
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