Remission...how good does it feel!?!!

Well hello and a big Aussie G'day to you all. I hope you've all had a great week.

I'm fast forwarding from my last post nearly 3 years. Yes it's been 3 years since the brain haemorrhage. Amazing. A lot has happened in that time and you'd never know by looking at me that I'd been through all this health debacles with Lupus. I always say that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

I know how hard those bad days are. I remember saying things like, 'Dying must be easier than this!!!' The pain I was in with my gut vasculitis really drove me to the edge of what I could deal with. It was bad, very bad.

But then I'm in remission now. It feels like such a long way away that all that bad shit was happening.

I hit remission over a year ago now. It feels great but I'm not getting above myself. It could come back. Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease. There is no cure. You live with it every day.

This is me on the left, taken a month ago on my birthday. I'd hit the big 48!!!

I went to see my Rheumy the other day. BTW don't you just HATE Drs appointments. It's a reminder that you are on a knife edge and it could happen again. I had a flu vaccine in May this year and OMG was I ill for 2 weeks. It was like I was having a flare again. It was so damned scary. I had a headache that was nearly as bad as the brain haemorrhage for 2 days. Nothing relieved it. It was like encephalitis. I was photophobic. The joint pain came back. I was in bed and had no energy. Then it just went. My liver function tests have been really up and down for 3 months. The option of stopping Methotrexate came up because my CRP and ESR are normal which means no active disease. I'm not brave enough to stop it yet. Some of you will understand that. I hate the chemo drug I really do but when you've been soooo sick you don't want to risk it either! Arrrggghhh!!! I drive myself mad at times! Maybe soon. Its crazy I've gone from the no drugs at all mindset to the security blanket of them!!!

In my work life I'm such a risk taker. I run my own business. I'm ridiculously busy and I'm writing 2 books. Yes I'm not content with doing one book at a time!!! When you love writing it seems very sensible to write 2 books and and 2 blogs.

Today I'm having a lazy Sunday. I'm still not dressed and it's nearly midday. That's how I balance my life out. I'm lucky that my 2 cats are fairly undemanding. Simon my partner lets me do my thing and I write.

Life is good...