Another year on and I've hit a speedhump :-(

Hello blog, my long lost friend. I've missed you longtime girlfriend :-)

I've not visited this blog for a year as my business world went mental. As a result I've hit a speedhump and had a blip with my lupus. Grrrr severe gnashing of teeth follows. Oh it gets me so cross. It sneaks up behind me and gives me a bite on the bottom just to remind me it's still there.

Oh I feel much better for that giant ROAR. 

So what has happened this past year? I've just self published my 2nd non-fiction book. Not a mean feat I know. Slightly over achieving. Bahahaha

Health wise there has been the usual mini drama's but nothing I felt like sharing till now! The sacro-iliac pain improved as did my ability to put my own socks and knickers on!! Thank goodness. It got so bad at one point that every time I turned over in bed I was shouting out in pain. Following a sub-total hysterectomy things dramatically improved. I've never been so happy to have a body part removed. I was really frightened of a major meltdown and it never happened. Somehow making that decision, and in the end I forced it because life was so intolerable, helped me move on from the what ifs of children to a whole new chapter. I was able now to pursue other things in my life. I actually feel liberated. Doesn't life surprise you at times?

Then next came the wisdom teeth...I'm still shuddering at that one. I got an infection post op and it was the single worst thing that has ever happened to me. No kidding. Those of you who have read my previous blogs will know that what I'm saying is BIG. However I have survived. For 3 months it was pureed food. Revolting. That experience has taught me nothing good. And I paid a freakin' fortune, went private and trusted the oral surgeon with my life. 

Anyway I must move on. It's not healthy to dwell on negative experiences.

So where am I now? I'm off to the UK in a few weeks and it's the big birthday and I'd like to go back well if I can. So I've got a decision to make. Do I go on Methotrexate or tough it out? I think I'll do a blood test first and see how bad things are. 

Oh lupus you are so mean and not a good friend but somehow you keep hanging around even when I've unfriended you.

But hell I'm ALIVE and being alive is good fun. For a girl with such a badly behaved form of lupus I've even surprised myself. 

I've gone from this 8 years ago....

To this just recently

What happened after my brain haemorrhage???

I know I said that I'd write 'next week' and today is just over 2 weeks!!! Actually I think 2 months may have gone by even!?! 
Maths has never been my thing. I'm busy building an empire at the moment and it's going mental. I'm a baby sleep and toddler guru. This blog allows me to vent, my other blog is all about baby and toddler stuff.  I think it's good keeping my 2 worlds separate.

If my clients knew I'd had a brain haemorrhage or any of this other stuff I don't think I'd be as busy or successful. Isn't it interesting that once we share our Lupus stuff people change their perception of you. That's what happened with the ex-husband. 

http://loopylena.blogspot.com.au/2014/04/what-every-girl-needs-knight-in-shining.html

Have any of you had that experience??? I'm sure that you have. It's hard enough dealing with our own shit without other peoples emotions. 

Here is the final instalment of the brain haemorrhage blog I wrote last! It deserves to be completed. 

http://loopylena.blogspot.com.au/2014/06/blowing-gasket-aka-brain-haemorrhage.html

I'd had a MASSIVE subdural haemorrhage. They thought it was caused by me being on Plavix and my anti phospholipid syndrome. Ironically I'd gone onto Plavix at the advice of the allergy clinic as the aspirin was 'rotting' my stomach. I had gastritis and reflux off the Richter scale despite the meds. My intolerances/allergies were all identified and I was feeling much better avoiding lactose, tropical fruit, raw tomatoes. I have latex allergy so the foods all fitted with that issue.

I spent 5 days in hospital on oral Dexamethasone (a steroid) to shrink the blood clot. My neuro-obs were not good. I didn't even know who the prime minister was! I replied....Barack Obama....a few minutes later...Kevin Rudd...a few minutes later...no, Julia Gillard, she deposed Kevin. I knew I was in deep trouble. I had lost my mind! ps these are Australian prime ministers and politics. I live in OZ.

The weekend loomed large and what to do? I got a stay of reprieve. A weekend at home.

I could feel the pressure on my brain. It was awful. My eyes could feel pressure building up. I stayed at home and by Sunday had finally driven myself insane.

I had cabin fever. But where to go? What happened if I had a fit??? I decided the safest place was the cinema. It was a packed house as I went to see Woody Allen's 'Midnight in Paris'. My only fear was not a fit but the fact I went to see it at the cinema near the wrong hospital. If I collapsed Id be sent to the nearest one, Prince of Wales in Randwick. My medical notes were at RPA in Camperdown.

The film was great and luckily no fit. Relief. Pure relief :-)

It was back to see the neurosurgeon on Tuesday after yet another CT scan, my 4th I believe. i'm such a crazy crunchy granola chick at times. Slightly new age kooky with a liking for crystals and New Age thinking. Got the picture?! I decided that I could think the brain haemorrhage away. Positive thought and visualisation would do it! Yes I kid you not. Yes I know I am totally mad/eccentric and whatever else you'd like to call me.

Bad news came knocking...the blood clot had actually got bigger. Once clots are treated with steroids, as they liquify to help re-absorption they enlarge!!! Oh holy moly. I paled, visibly.

It was no way out time.

It was brain surgery time do or die time.

Not my finest hour. I knew that I may get my head shaved, lose my Leo lion mane. Did I mention before that I'm vain?! Hell yeah.

I searched the internet for scarves. I couldn't do floral or non descript. It was Alexander McQueen and the skull pattern or nothing. Now I couldn't afford full price so onto ebay I searched and found 2 lovely ones at a bargain basement price, all of $25 each. Bargain and stylish.

I felt as ready as I was ever going to be...

How writing saved me from Lupus

G'day again, you're back. Hello, its so nice to see you. You're going to love todays blog. And I'm giving something away for FREE. 

I'm going to take you forward 3 years after all of that yuk stuff. Theres a lot of fun stuff in my life and probably more fun than not. I'm a glass is half full girl :-)

I had started writing a few years ago but got derailed by my lupus. When I'm in active disease I lose all my creativity. Just getting out of bed each day is a big ask.

Then I landed well and truly on my arse. I walked out of my job. It was either the job is going to kill me or I have to walk away. I was a nurse working in outreach, visiting child protection cases and clients with severe mental health issues. I'd had one bad child protection situation too many and I was done. Burnt out, spat out and i was empty.

So I had no choice but do 7 MONTHS of bed rest. Yes holy moly. Seven freakin' months!!! I'm very much a busy busy busy doing everything all at once girl. So for me to have to take 7 months off just freaked me. I had no money. I had no prospects but I had Simon and we had love. And I still had a brain and a mouth.

I was exercising and going to hydrotherapy twice a week. However it was the balance in my life and getting the toxic stress out of my body, through the words making their way onto the page, that made all the difference.

I belonged to a writing group of whom 2/3rds were published authors. They'd all been to Uni and done a creative writing course. I learned so much from them. They encouraged me and have made me the writer I am today.

I went to the cinema 3-4 times a week. I totally indulged my creative side. 

I had 2 cats, Tabitha & Trim who sat at my feet on the bed. It was the only place I was comfy. Pain was a big issue. I had fibromyalgia by now and was on Endep. I'd had bursitis in my hips so many times that I was walking like an old lady. Sleep was a nightmare.

So I put my laptop on my knees and put pillows all around me and I wrote furiously. And within 3 months I had written a book. A work of  adult fiction. It was loosely based on some critical incidents at work. I'd set it in Sydney. My main character has Lupus. Don't they always say to write about what you know?!! It's a Psychological thriller with some voodoo/occult themes. Yes its dark but it's true to life. You'll like the lupus bits. I really go for it, no holds barred.

I've already sold many copies on Amazon which has totally amazed me. It's now available again for FREE to download and read. You don't need a kindle. All you do is download the Kindle App onto your PC, iPad or whatever electronic device you use. And it's on special offer for the next 5 days including today.

http://www.amazon.com.au/The-Shaken-Cradle-Lena-Thompson-ebook/dp/B00G8TQCYU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1400395493&sr=8-1&keywords=the+shaken+cradle

All I ask is that you leave me a review once you've read it. Thank you so much. It means so much. Please share this post onto Facebook, your other social groups, Pinterest, Twitter etc. 

But most of all I want all you Lupies out there to realise that anything is possible. You can do it too. And I must add a caveat that I know will make you gasp!!! Two thirds of the way through my book I had a MASSIVE BRAIN HAEMORRHAGE!!! Yes, really. It was the biggest they've seen with no deficit. I really am the cat with nine lives.

Enjoy reading the Shaken Cradle by Lena Thompson and I'll see you all again real soon XX 

What every girl needs, a knight in shining armour!

You know when you're at rock bottom and you feel like shit. I'd survived my marriage break up but it had left a big toll on me. If you marry for love, which I did, you don't get to escape it unscathed. 

The thing that really got to me was my wedding vows.

For better for worse
In Sickness and in health...

Now I couldn't get my head around what gave my husband the right, to not cope with my Lupus and just walk away, because life just got that little bit tougher.

Yes I was mad. Hell yes. In fact furious doesn't even come close.

I vented, I ranted, I swore. This was all down the phone...at him. And no he didn't put the phone down on me! It was a strange case of self-flagellation. Hell it felt good, damned good. He kept saying that he deserved to hear all of this. So I let rip. I'm a writer. I have a lot of words. These were words I'd been saving up over 7 long years of marriage and 9 years together.

Once I'd been heard I knew I could move on. I felt validated.

The next step was to see my GP to organise some counselling. This stuff in my head had to go somewhere and keeping it inside was just toxic.
For a non-American I can thoroughly recommend a bit of therapy. I knew I had to keep myself functional to do my job, helping and supporting new mothers and their families.
I couldn't write at the time. I was just too screwed up. Now I write to keep myself ticking over. Its my regular MOT/ car service if you like!

The first thing the psychologist said was," You must never go back to him...NEVER...have you heard me?!"

I was stunned. But you know she was the wisest woman and I needed to hear those words. 

This was my first step to health.

Remove all toxins from your life. I was on the road...

So I kept up with 6 sessions of therapy. Kept at my day job. Moved 2 students into my rented house with the OK of the landlord. I had to sort the practicalities out like money too. Having nice people around and my lovely cat really gave me the mood shift I needed. Living alone was really the worst thing. And y'know sharing was ok. I got to choose my tenants and I can spot a crazy nut job at a thousand paces. I needed calm and a little bit of different.

Then I thought dating, shall I or shan't I? I was really nervous and managed to pick up a real dip-shit on my first attempt. Having dumped him once I realised, he became slightly psychotic/stalkerish and bombarded me with text messages. Oh I picked a 'right one'!!!

No more dating sites. 

Then on a night out, at a pub (The Clock Hotel) in Surry Hills, with my fellow housies there he was...across the room in the pokies!!! I kid you not. I was giving a big lecture on how bad these pokies were, how they were the scourge of modern Australian society. I was in total soapbox social worker mode! His mate had just put 5 x $50 in and had wedged the start button with a drinks coaster. And he blew all of it in seconds.

I'm not going to give his real name as he asked me not too! He's shy (not) in an Australian way. So I'll call him Hugh (as in Jackman)

or maybe Russell (as in Crowe)

or Simon (as in Baker). Oh too many hot Aussie man....I'm going with Simon :-)

Simon took me and my house mate, Kathy down to Bondi Beach for a day of sand, sea and surf.  I covered myself in Factor 50, slapped on a hat and had fun. 

The next week we had a date at the pictures and 2 months later I moved in to his apartment in Sydney. It was as easy as that. When things are right they just happen and we're here together 8 years on... Eight awesome years that have ridden the roller-coaster that is my life and Lupus. And today my life is good, awesome and amazing.

Yes I have my bad fibro days and I'm in pain every day. Some days better than others.

But I've learnt how to pace myself. Simon doesn't ask too much of me. He loves me writing, loves my cooking and basically loves every bit of crazy, eccentric me.

Don't give up on the Knight in Shining armour. You may find him where you least expect him just like I did.

See you back here real soon. Hope your week is good and your pain days are few <3 Sending hugs from OZ XX