I was staring down the barrel at brain surgery and I preferred the idea of being shot thank you very much!

I'm back, oh yes. You can't keep a good girl down. So as I was telling you in my last blog post I'd had a massive brain haemorrhage.

Why it happened I'll never really know. It has been attributed to the fact I was on Plavix a blood thinner like aspirin but works a bit differently. I'd been to the allergy clinic and told that aspirin wasn't helpful to my gut so I needed to change meds. It made sense as aspirin was probably eroding my stomach wall and I do have reflux and gastritis.

So I fixed my food intolerances but had a brain haemorrhage...just great!!!

The day for neurosurgery had arrived and I was booked in for burr holes in my skull. For those of you who are not medical it may be a bit yukky/squeamish. It's basically where you drill 2 holes in the side of your head to relieve pressure and bleeding. I know it's pretty vile. don't think about it too much or for too long!

I got changed into my hospital theatre gown and felt like doing a runner. It was one of those moments where you think shall I? I looked at the hole in the ceiling and wondered if I should climb on through that hole and 'do one'? I've never wanted to run away so much ever in my life. The sensible part of my brain said 'no Karen you really have to do this. It's a case of do and live or don't and die. No choice at all really.'

So it was with a heavy heart that I arrived in the anaesthetic room and jumped up on the theatre bed. The anaesthetists wired my head up to an EEG. It's a special machine that monitors brain waves and tells the doctors if you're properly anaesthetised or not. It was the first time they'd used it. Gulp...

We discussed my hair and how much I liked it and please could they save it as much as possible. They talked about pigtails and plaits. It was quite funny really, surreal even. I was in an operating theatre and we were discussing hairstyles!!! It's the black sense of humour that I just love about the medical world. They dripped me and I got some good drugs and next thing I was out cold into the world of the unconscious. I actually look forward to having an anaesthetic and I've had a few in my life.

Next thing I'm awake. Zing and sat upright in recovery. I made my other half Simon come and see me. I felt unless I saw him I wouldn't know that I'd survived. Poor Simon, he hates hospitals and hates blood. I spent 24 hours in Neurosurgery ICU and was in the same bed as a famous Aussie author had been the week before. How cool is that?!

My mum flew over from England with my sister in law not knowing if I'd be OK or not. How scary. I was dressed, all drips and monitors removed and talking. Amazing. They walked in and it was as though nothing had happened except for the 4 inch scars on my skull and a tiny section of shaved hair and a hairstyle like A Flock of Seagulls!

I had the best 2 weeks after hospital. I took my mum and sister in law around all my favourite coffee shops in Sydney.

Sam drove as I was banned from driving for a month until my review. I can understand. It really takes it out of you. My brain haemorrhage had been so bad that it took 2 hours for my right hemisphere to re-inflate!!!

I can look back now though and thank my lucky stars. I'm definitely one of the very lucky ones. I escaped with all my faculties intact.
I now think...whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger!!! And it does.

What happened after my brain haemorrhage???

I know I said that I'd write 'next week' and today is just over 2 weeks!!! Actually I think 2 months may have gone by even!?! 
Maths has never been my thing. I'm busy building an empire at the moment and it's going mental. I'm a baby sleep and toddler guru. This blog allows me to vent, my other blog is all about baby and toddler stuff.  I think it's good keeping my 2 worlds separate.

If my clients knew I'd had a brain haemorrhage or any of this other stuff I don't think I'd be as busy or successful. Isn't it interesting that once we share our Lupus stuff people change their perception of you. That's what happened with the ex-husband. 

http://loopylena.blogspot.com.au/2014/04/what-every-girl-needs-knight-in-shining.html

Have any of you had that experience??? I'm sure that you have. It's hard enough dealing with our own shit without other peoples emotions. 

Here is the final instalment of the brain haemorrhage blog I wrote last! It deserves to be completed. 

http://loopylena.blogspot.com.au/2014/06/blowing-gasket-aka-brain-haemorrhage.html

I'd had a MASSIVE subdural haemorrhage. They thought it was caused by me being on Plavix and my anti phospholipid syndrome. Ironically I'd gone onto Plavix at the advice of the allergy clinic as the aspirin was 'rotting' my stomach. I had gastritis and reflux off the Richter scale despite the meds. My intolerances/allergies were all identified and I was feeling much better avoiding lactose, tropical fruit, raw tomatoes. I have latex allergy so the foods all fitted with that issue.

I spent 5 days in hospital on oral Dexamethasone (a steroid) to shrink the blood clot. My neuro-obs were not good. I didn't even know who the prime minister was! I replied....Barack Obama....a few minutes later...Kevin Rudd...a few minutes later...no, Julia Gillard, she deposed Kevin. I knew I was in deep trouble. I had lost my mind! ps these are Australian prime ministers and politics. I live in OZ.

The weekend loomed large and what to do? I got a stay of reprieve. A weekend at home.

I could feel the pressure on my brain. It was awful. My eyes could feel pressure building up. I stayed at home and by Sunday had finally driven myself insane.

I had cabin fever. But where to go? What happened if I had a fit??? I decided the safest place was the cinema. It was a packed house as I went to see Woody Allen's 'Midnight in Paris'. My only fear was not a fit but the fact I went to see it at the cinema near the wrong hospital. If I collapsed Id be sent to the nearest one, Prince of Wales in Randwick. My medical notes were at RPA in Camperdown.

The film was great and luckily no fit. Relief. Pure relief :-)

It was back to see the neurosurgeon on Tuesday after yet another CT scan, my 4th I believe. i'm such a crazy crunchy granola chick at times. Slightly new age kooky with a liking for crystals and New Age thinking. Got the picture?! I decided that I could think the brain haemorrhage away. Positive thought and visualisation would do it! Yes I kid you not. Yes I know I am totally mad/eccentric and whatever else you'd like to call me.

Bad news came knocking...the blood clot had actually got bigger. Once clots are treated with steroids, as they liquify to help re-absorption they enlarge!!! Oh holy moly. I paled, visibly.

It was no way out time.

It was brain surgery time do or die time.

Not my finest hour. I knew that I may get my head shaved, lose my Leo lion mane. Did I mention before that I'm vain?! Hell yeah.

I searched the internet for scarves. I couldn't do floral or non descript. It was Alexander McQueen and the skull pattern or nothing. Now I couldn't afford full price so onto ebay I searched and found 2 lovely ones at a bargain basement price, all of $25 each. Bargain and stylish.

I felt as ready as I was ever going to be...